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  • Writer's pictureIan Cadena

The Elusive Blue Checkmark

No, this is NOT a blog on HOW to get a verified account on Twitter or Facebook, because I DON'T KNOW HOW!!!

I've researched and even came across other articles/blogs that have a 10 step program on how to get verified on Facebook. Well, I tried and it didn't work. One of those steps even included putting out an ad for 7 days. Hmmmmm....well.... I tried. Still didn't work. Okay, call me a sucker, but now you don't have to waste your money on it, because it doesn't work. There are all kinds of hints that say to classify yourself as Public Figure, but I can't say they are helpful as nothing has worked. So in regards to this 10 step program to get verified on Facebook, I now need a 12-step program for recovery.

It's quite disheartening. I've come across several profiles of non-famous people that have verified accounts, yet I can't get verified. It's like the elusive Bigfoot. I see all these programs with people that have spotted the elusive creature, but have yet to see it for myself. Is this what my life has come to? Constantly witnessing things as a spectator rather than as a partaker. Is this why I even care that my account should be verified? Well, I can tell you that I read some articles (probably from the same bastards that wrote HOW to get verified now that I think about it) that would allow verified accounts access to some nice privies that aren't quite available to anyone else as of yet on Facebook. So that was my motivation. It was something that could be quite useful to me as an author. But now, I have just blown off the whole ordeal. Well, of course, I didn’t blow it off immediately, because I had to attempt to get my Twitter account verified.

Unlike Facebook, there are no false 10 step articles on how to get your Twitter account verified. I guess good in a way. The steps are simple enough, you have to have a photo and your date of birth and your tweets must be public. But then there’s this mystical question that asks you WHY SHOULD YOU HAVE YOUR ACCOUNT VERIFIED. WTF? Am I back in the elementary school lunch line? Mr. Cadena, why should you get an extra dessert when no one else is allowed? BECAUSE I FUCKING SAID SO!!!! Okay, so I researched this. No one has offered an intelligible answer. Oh, and the catch with Twitter is that you can only apply for verification every 30 days. I tried it twice and changed my essay twice. NO GO! I’ve given up on them too. However, I will say that Twitter at least notifies you by email to let you know you’ve been rejected, so fast I might add that I have to think it’s the default setting on their end. Whereas, Facebook leaves you in limbo. Just like Google, you can’t get hold of a real person for queries. So once you apply for verification on Facebook you never hear anything back. You might as well piss in the wind and expect gold coins to come back at ya.

So if you have some miracle formula on how to get a page verification on either of these social media platforms, please don’t keep it to yourself. Share in the comments on this blog. We’d all love to hear. In the meantime, I have to deal with being rejected, yet again, by trivial endeavors!

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